her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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