I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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