I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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