mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize