their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
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I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
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Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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