i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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