i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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