Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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