How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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