I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize