she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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