so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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