sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize