Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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