they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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