you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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