I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
