woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize