we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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