I want to stick my p in your. b.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
