I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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