i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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