we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
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I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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