It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He kissed a someone with a penis
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you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?