Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.