I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in