trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵