Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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