Im at strip club and am horny
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
