You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
