Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
