i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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