I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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