Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
