i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
