If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize