i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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