Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
