three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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