He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
