he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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