great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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