based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize