I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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