I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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