my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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