omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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