Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
