I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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