well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The Olympian is in my bed
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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