69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
