which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
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We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
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I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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