How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
love makes seman taste better
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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